Currently I've been craving for a dose of creativity, but lately, I've come up pretty dry. Every morning when I wake up (and a thousand times throughout the day) I shlep through my Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Pinterest feeds and I get this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. A nausea that has been too familiar; drained by the constant stream of information and thirst for new updates.
Given my history with depression and anxiety, I've learned maintaining my mental health is far more important than being consumed into a highly-idealized, editorial, narcissistic digital world.
Let me be real for a moment.
We live in a world where we are saturated with daily posts, likes, and comments. Most of the time it should be a good feeling to share, but sometimes, it's just inauthentic and dark. More "reality" than reality. On a daily basis I would feel like I wasn't doing enough in life, or my lack of social media activity meant my lack of a social life, or worst, negative thoughts about how alone and worthless I'd felt. I'm not overly sensitive, but I get trapped in the rabbit hole aka my mind. It's the worst.
One moment I would feel fine about my life - until I open Instagram. Then I'm thinking, 'I'm here at home, tired from a 9-to-5 job, and feeling fat. You have an incredible creative job, moved into a sweet apartment, and about to get married'. Who's the living the best life? Definitely not me.
But then the truth kicks in and I realize that it should not matter as social media is heavily edited, glorified, and filtered. I do not need to feel judged, seek approval, or have a fear of missing out because behind the scenes of those updates is an awful reality.
Real moment over.
Let us toast to our fictitious reality, pretend friends, and false intimacy.
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